Fred Morgan
What is communication?
Communication is one of the basics in a relationship. Communication is the process of interacting, creating and negotiating meanings. Your feelings, communication style, family of origin, gender, and culture all affect you’re the way and means we communicate. And these will apply even when in a romantic or plutonic relationship.
Poor communication can lead to serious falling out, issues and problems. Conflict in a relationship itself, however, is not a problem, it all depends on how you handle the fall out. All couples argue and disagree at times. If you can learn to argue and share your concerns maturely, without causing hurt, your chances of staying together really go up. When you are in conflict with your partner, ask yourself these two questions: “What can we learn from this? How can we grow from this situation?”
The process we use in communicating can sometimes be more important than the actual message. How we communicate affects what we communicate.
According to some studies, couples who describe themselves as “happy” do the following more often than couples who describe themselves as “unhappy”:
- Talk with each other about things.
- Discuss personal and intimate topics.
- Avoid dwelling too long on topics of conflict and hurt.
- They paraphrase each other to ensure they are listening.
- They are sensitive to each other’s feelings.
- Keep communication channels open and smooth.
- Use nonverbal communication more often than not.
Tips for an Enduring Relationships
Learning to accept and tolerate differences and weaknesses in relationships is important. Research studies have identified 5 important characteristics of ensuring relationships:
- Intimacy
- Commitment
- Communication
- Congruence
- World view
READ ALSO: 10 Benefits of Being in a Relationship
Steps to Use in Communication
- Recognize when an issue needs to be discussed and deal with the issue when it arises, rather than letting it build up and explode.
- Set time that is mutually acceptable and without distractions.
- Use good communication skills: listen carefully, and take turns speaking and listening.
- Respect each other.
- Define the topic, issue, or problem specifically; stick to one issue.
- Speak for yourself only; share feelings; identify how you think your behavior contributes to the problem.
- Realize that happiness is inside a person, rather than something someone else provides for you.
- Don’t take your partner for granted.
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