Let me explain what a codependent relationship is all about so you will know if you fall into the category before I go-ahead to break it down.
So a person who is codependent will usually plan their entire life around pleasing their partner, or the enabler. In very simple terms, a codependent relationship is when one partner needs the other partner, who in turn, needs to be needed.
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With that little information, let us look at the signs of a codependent relationship:
- You feel incomplete without them: You should know that there is no one and nothing in the world that can fill the emptiness inside you, except yourself. You don’t need anyone to complete you. The person you’re with is someone you love but they don’t represent you. No one does. You represent yourself.
- You expect them to act the way YOU want them to: You can’t expect someone to be exactly like you want them to be. They are who they are and only in their own true skin will they be able to love you and make you happy. If you force them to do something, they won’t be happy, which in turn won’t do you any good.
- You’re constantly dependent on them for your own happiness: You shouldn’t have to depend on someone for your feelings as it is unhealthy. You should not allow everything they do to control your feelings. You should not be in a mood because they feel down too.
- You’re babysitting an adult: Relationships are about showing each other care and compassion BUT it definitely doesn’t mean that you’re constantly around them, doing things that they’re capable of doing on their own which doesn’t even allow you to be able to do anything for yourself.
- You place the other person before you: There is a huge difference between being considerate and being self-ignorant. The former makes both of you feel good, while the latter is just a big NO-NO. Put you first and do what you can for them.
- You feel trapped: This is probably because you can’t say what you feel, you’re not allowed to have opinions and agree with everything being said and done. It’s not like they’re physically forcing you to do all this, but you know you have to, just to keep them happy.
- The constant need to be loved: To get love, you need to first and foremost give love first. The more you give, the more you get. This is the most important thing to practice in a relationship. There is no need for constant reassurances from your partner. They’re with you because they love you.
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