You are seated on the settee or somewhere around the house poring over the daily newspaper and occasionally glancing at your wife, working herself to the bone, means you are the husband right?. Guilt tries to get you but, you keep brushing it aside, you consoles yourself: ” After all, housework is the job of a woman.
“At night after shower with the towel still tied to your waste, you would stand in-between the room entrance leaning on the door calling your wife from far; “Iya david waaaaa! Je kin rio! (Meaning – Come let’s have sex)”
With all that work wey she don do since morning? Haba!
My brother, you better get a maid instead of a wife. Just an advice.
Housework, in all honesty, is believed by most husband to be the sole responsibility of women. To many men, there is no doubt who should do all the housework, even daunting chores, come rain come shine – woman.
The question rises: what is housework? Housework, according to an interviewee, is any work in the house that arises day after day. Examples of which are manifold and myriad.
Now, what causes most men (husbands) to have an acrimonious attitude when it comes to the issue of helping their wives? One, Joseph Muthondio, puts it all down to culture.
He says that culture, African culture, inculcates into the minds of men the untoward belief that housework is for women and that they should avoid it like the plague. This African system of thinking teaches men and women alike that they each have their end of the rope to pull (no interchanging is allowed whatsoever).
Though that is the case, many well meaning men fear what society will think of them if they ever start helping with housework. Some express the fear that all and sundry will point fingers at their wives accusing them of administering ‘Limbwata’ (kind of a love potion that puts the husband at the wife’s beck and call) to their husbands. Yoruba people would say, “Oti jefo” (Meaning – The wife has given him some vegetable portion).
Consequently, sincere men, wanting to help out of the love they have for their wives, are barred to do what they believe they should by the opinionated attitudes of society.
This kind of view, as many men have opined, cannot fit in the mould of current family lifestyles especially in families where the man and woman are both breadwinners. Both of them leave for work in the morning and come back in the evening.
If there is no house help then the onus of undertaking the household chores would be on the two. The argument here is that each is as tired as their mate.
So none of them has a better reason to rest while their mate does the work all alone.
But even then, there are some pieces of work solely for women, washing of nappies and diapers is like a no-go zone to men who do help their wives.
Men can do all other work but not that one.
Most women asked for their opinion about this issue really felt humbled by the fact that their husbands had the ‘guts’ to forsake their ‘rights’ as men and find it in themselves to help in the kitchen or elsewhere around the house.
My hubby is sure a loving and caring person; he always help me at home. He even offers almost all the time to make us a meal.
” I cherish those times. I love him the more for this.”
Yet another one, whose husband thinks it taboo to help her at home, lamented, ” To say the truth, I feel as if my husband doesn’t care about me. Though he loves me I would feel more ensconced in his love if he did help me.”
Now over to you. Let’s settle this once and for all! Is it proper for a man to help his wife with chores around the house?
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