So when was the last time you lost your patience with your children? To answer that, would you be looking at your calendar or the second hand on your watch?
The problem with having children is that by the time you’ve learned everything you need to know to raise them, they’re almost grown. By the time you’re wise enough, you’re too tired. One thing I have to say about having children is that it makes you appreciate your own parents.
A frequent source of conflict between children and parents is that they do not think alike, much to the consternation of parents. For instance, I like putting things back where they belong so I can find them the next time I need them. My children don’t seem to have this same tendency. When things get out of place, I can easily get out of sorts. But after much trial and error, I realized that it’s not worth raising your blood pressure over a 2,000.00 Naira power tool. Nor is it worth damaging the self esteem of your children (now that’s an overused word I bet you’ve heard before)! One way to abate the anger you feel from having your personal possessions and tools strewn out all over the place is to remember that it’s probably divine retribution going back to when you were a child and did the very same things to your parents!
In all honesty, losing your temper is easy. Some people seem to lose it a lot more than others. Incidentally, why is it that those who lose their temper the most always seem to find it again? Maybe it should’ve stayed lost!
Actually, losing your temper is the most counterproductive thing you can do as a parent. It’s admitting to your children that you’re not in control. But in any dispute between emotion and common sense, it seems that emotion almost always wins out. Maybe your best bet is to try another approach when things start to get tense before you vent your anger. It’s easier to maintain control of your temper than to wait until it’s unleashed and try to reign it back in. Once you’ve gone past the point of no return, it’s sort of like jumping off a house and trying to stop halfway. Too late!
Dealing with children isn’t supposed to be easy. In case you thought otherwise, your children will subtly remind you over and over again! There will be times that you won’t always know the best thing to do, especially when it comes to the issue of discipline. Unfortunately, children don’t come with instructions–if they did, you wouldn’t have time to read them anyway! Children, however, need some direction from you as a parent. And instruction. And because of time constraints, sometimes parents will skip over the instruction that children need and go straight to the punishment phase.
Regrettably, discipline is a part of every child’s upbringing, regardless of how you feel about it. No parent relishes the thought of having to discipline their children so we generally procrastinate doing so until we’re about to lose control. And that’s precisely when we need it the most. So, in order to act in their best interest, it requires that you remain in control of your emotions. Don’t be ashamed if you need time to cool off or to get help.
In summary, you should correct your children because they need it, not because you’re angry or lost your patience. Instead of lashing out in frustration against your spouse, seek their support. In the arena of conflict and resolution, there is no foe unless you create one. But there is one consolation. Eventually you will get even with your children. Because one day they will have children of their own. And it will be their turn to appreciate you.
Don’t know anything about raising children? Your children will teach you! The only problem is that by the time you’ve learned all you need to know, the kids are grown.
Losing your temper is the most counterproductive thing you can do as a parent
sometimes parents will skip over the instruction that children need and go straight to the punishment phase
No parent relishes the thought of having to discipline their children so we generally procrastinate doing so until we’re about to lose control. And that’s precisely when we need it the most.
Raising children shouldn’t be synonymous with raising your voice. In the arena of conflict and resolution, there is no foe unless you create one. Thank you for taking your time to read this piece.