As humans, it’s in our nature to look out for ourselves and our best interests, but sometimes we wind up shooting ourselves in the foot especially when we experience an internal conflict within ourselves.
Here are some ways self-sabotage can happen and we may be totally clueless.
- NOT SETTING GOALS: A lot of people have aspirations or big dreams and have refused to set goals that will enable those dreams to come true. Without goals, it’s really hard to evolve and make progress in your life. Not setting goals is the ultimate form of self-sabotage.
- AVOIDING DISCOMFORT: As humans, we seek comfort or try as much as possible to seek it in our everyday life. We like to stay comfortable because it is a safe and familiar feeling but just because something feels good, doesn’t mean that it’s helping us. Experiencing discomfort is a part of life and this helps us evolve and grow.
- LIVING IN THE PAST: Our brain loves to repeat the past because that’s what it knows. It reckons that by doing what you’ve always done, you’ll stay alive. But that is a caveman mentality, We live in a completely new era where we have goals, dreams, desires, and ambitions and limiting yourself to only what you’ve done in your past, will never help you achieve anything new.
- INDULGING: Indulging is self-sabotaging because instead of seeking solutions, you wallow and meditate on the problem. In other words, you focus on the problem, not the solution. Instead of indulging, worrying, or feeling overwhelmed, you want to take a proactive approach and committing to figuring things out.
- PROCRASTINATING: Procrastination is a classic example of self-sabotage as procrastinating means we’re usually trying to avoid some kind of discomfort which includes fear and/or boredom i.e. when a task is really boring or monotonous. But when we procrastinate, it’s actually really counterproductive because we try to avoid discomfort, but ironically, we end up creating more discomfort for ourselves by trying to avoid discomfort.
- FEARING FAILURE: This is a big one that a lot of people face. Failure is when you don’t achieve a desired result and the interesting thing about failure is that you’re technically in control of it. You only “fail” when you stop trying and you’re the one who decides when you stop trying.
- VICTIM MENTALITY: Instead of taking full responsibility for our lives, our emotions, and our actions, we tend to blame it on things outside of ourselves. Not only is this self-sabotaging, but it’s also really dis-empowering because it directs all our power to outside circumstances and events. We need to learn to take full responsibility for our thoughts, emotions, results, and lives and phase-out of the victim mentality.