I think there should be a crash course on how to live in a Lagos. Everything is a struggle and everyone always has to be in “survival of the fittest” mode. Trust me, if you can live in Lagos, then you can live anywhere else.
People who enter danfos (the commercial transport used in Lagos) will understand the struggle perfectly. Here are just 6 of the annoying things you experience when you enter a danfo in Lagos.
The Lack Of Space
There is just never space in the bus. The conductor is always looking for as many passengers as possible so he could care less about your wellbeing. Everyone is alway packed in like sardine. It’s either someone’s leg is pressing against your butt or their hand is touching your hair. And at this point, you just want to scream out loud in frustration. Yikes.
When The Conductor Bangs The Boot Of The Bus Loudly
The danfo is already loud and uncomfortable enough. You can’t wait to reach your destination and then, the next thing you hear is a loud “BANG!” from the boot of the bus. Seriously, if there’s one thing I wish conductors could be fined for, it is this one thing. We understand they’re rushing but they really don’t have to destroy our eardrums
Having A Conductor Talk Into Your Face Or Rub Their Armpit On You
There is nothing worse that a conductor who has no concept of space. From talking into your face to rubbing their armpit on you, these conductor have no chill. When you experience this, you can’t help but ask God: “What did I do to deserve this?” Like, it’s really not that hard to freshen up and adhere to simple hygiene habits, is it?
The Driver Starts Quarelling With A Passenger From Behind
It is already hard and risky enough driving on Nigerian roads. Yet, some danfo drivers don’t mind engaging in petty quarrels with passengers when their focus is supposed to be on the road. This quarrel is usually over change or not stopping at the right location and it never stops. It can go on and on till the bus reaches the final destination unless all the passengers in the bus shout “driver e don do na look where you dey go”.
The Point Where You Have To Drag For Change
Seriously, some conductors are from the pit of hell! You’re trying to get to work, a meeting, or school and you’re anticipating that the day would go well. And all of a sudden one crazy conductor starts acting up and proving stubborn to give you your change. At this point, every Nigerian knows this is where they have to turn on their inner AGBERO. After battling it out with the conductor, you can now switch back to ajebo mode and pretend like nothing happened. OMO no time!
The Horrific Moment The Bus Breaks Down
This one is one of the highlights. You’re trying to get to an important destination when your bus suddenly breaks down in the middle of third mainland bridge. As if that’s not enough, you still have to wait for the driver to repair his faulty vehicle or transfer you into another bus. By the time you’re back on the road, you know you’re already late for your appointment and you have to start crafting a reasonable excuse to give to the people you’ve kept waiting.