So the relationship is over and you’re wondering how to deal with a break up. Maybe it’s the first break up you’ve had that really upset you. Or maybe it’s not your first and you’re looking for answers because even after all this time you still don’t know how to deal with a break up.
When a relationship ends you can have several reactions. You might be missing your ex boyfriend or girlfriend. Or you might be angry as hell and wonder what you ever saw in them in the first place. You’ll probably feel a variety of things, and maybe several different emotions in the course of a single day.
Knowing how to deal with a break up is never easy, but there are few things you can do that can help you deal with the pain.
First, distract yourself with humor. You won’t be able to get away from the sadness and anger you’re feeling right at first. And many experts believe you shouldn’t try to avoid it. Feel it and just let it happen. But you can’t let this go on too long.
Once you’ve had that good cry or those days spent moping around the house, it’s time to distract yourself. Watch funny movies on DVD or go see a funny film. Talk to the friends who make you laugh. Go see a comic if there’s a show in your area. Laughing will make you feel better and forget your pain for a little while.
A second thing you can do when learning how to deal with a break up is do something you couldn’t have done while in the relationship. Did he dislike a certain kind of food and that kept you from going to that type of restaurant even though you love it? Did you not go to see a certain type of movie because he hated them?
Do things that you love that you couldn’t do in the relationship. You’ll feel a bit liberated and rediscover something you truly enjoy.
Third, stop thinking about relationships, period. The tendency for some people is to want to jump right into something new to provide a distraction from the old relationship. Try not to do this. You’ll have to time for more relationships later, you have all the time in the world. Focus on you for a change.
Think about your goals, without a boyfriend or girlfriend. What’s important to you? Have you always wanted to get more fit by lifting weights? Have you always wanted to have one of your poems published? Write a novel, get promoted at work, or learn to scuba dive? Pick something that you’re passionate about, and do it.
Look at this time after your break up as an opportunity instead of a setback. Now you have time to focus on yourself. Do something that makes you happy and work toward a goal. How to deal with a break up is a very individual thing, so be a little selfish for a change and work toward something you really want.
And it’s time to grow as a person as well. You would have learned a lot of valuable lessons through the pain and suffering. It would have taught you self-love, self-esteem and self-confidence really means to attract the kind of relationship you want.
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