Shyness is sure an awkwardness and an apprehension that many people feel while approaching or being approached by other people. These people always have a desire to be outgoing and to connect with other people on a social and emotional level.
However, they always find this impossible because they can not seem to handle their anxiety that comes with the human interaction.
Before we proceed, it is very important to point out that shyness is not the same thing as being introverted. Introvert person actually feel energized spending much time alone doing their own personal thing. They are not afraid of any social situations, but rather they simply prefer to be by themselves always. All social situations would drain them emotionally, while solitary activities do energize and spark their full creativity.
In contrast to the view, shy people are desperate in seeking the acceptance and approval of other people. This makes them more extremely self-conscious and fearful of being judged by third party, ridiculed, criticized, humiliated, or embarrassed, and been rejected. They always have a negative self-preoccupation and sometimes evaluate themselves and their own ability in limiting ways. In fact, when it comes to social issues, they always expect that they will make mistakes even before they start anything and fail miserably to connect with others around on a very meaningful level. Their very unhelpful thoughts and beliefs about their personal social interactions always make them feel extremely insecure wherever they are. And yet, one of their most appealing traits — thatt being a thoughtful and good listener — is a very vital part of any meaningful social relationships.
4 Steps for Overcoming Shyness
Overcoming this is not going to be a walk in the park. i.e, it is not going to be as easy as eating a pop corn. To overcome shyness is not an easy process. There are many fears and anxieties in disguise, and as such you may need to work through each of them individually. However, as with everything that is valuable, you will certainly make great progress as long as you are diligent and do follow the process step-by-step.
Here are the four step processes you can always use to help you in overcoming your shyness:
Step 1: Try to Gain Clarity
Your first step in this journey is to identify what it is you would like to achieve in your entire life. Your most desired objectives should initially be a little simple and thus straightforward. For example, you might set a goal to always ask a stranger a question maybe per day or per week. After facing this initial encounter, you could then set another goal to have a two minute conversation with another stranger. Then from there, you would set more additional goals that will help you make even good progress. Ask yourself:
What are my end goals?
What would I love to be able to do socially?
What is my initial goal would like be? How can I get the ball rolling without a stop?
What goals must I progressively set every time to get to my final dream?
It does not matter what your personal objective is, as long as you are very clear about it and know what needs to be done to achieve it and of course it will help you become more confident in every social situations.
Step 2: Challenge Your Assumptions
The time is now to take the answers you have explored in the previous step mentioned and begin to challenge all your assumptions. We are of course just assuming that the way you are thinking and feeling about this social situation is not that practical or helpful, and as such there must always be a better way to have a think and feel about these potential scenarios. You can explore these possibilities by asking yourself:
Is this the realistic way to view things?
Am I potentially overlooking or ignoring the facts?
How else in the world could I view this situation?
It is very possible in all ways that you are simply not seeing things very clearly. You may, in fact, be seeing the situation in a more unrealistic and unhelpful way. There could be things that you are overlooking, and this is sure causing you to feel uncertain, fearful and above all, anxious.
If you are finding it very difficult to view this situation in a different way, then it is important you seek out other people’s advises, their perspectives, and views. Find a trusted friend you know who makes you feel comfortable and secure every time, and ask them for their own opinion and perspective about the social situation that you are struggling with. Try to ask them to help you view the situation through their own eyes.
Step 3: Take Small Steps
You should now be more ready to take minimum consistent steps everyday towards your goal. You must sure begin slowly and build momentum with it over time. This is so important. Jumping into all things too soon may quickly raise your anxiety levels, and as a result of this, you will instantly retreat into your comfort zone. To avoid this kind of scenario, be sure to set yourself some realistic expectations.
For instance, you might even decide to go to a nearby supermarket and ask like three strangers some questions about an item in their shopping basket. You should do this in the shopping aisle and you will start interacting with each person for a total of 35 to 50 seconds.
Once you have achieved that goal for that day, try to reward yourself and plan to take another positive step going forward the next day.
Step 4: Always Learn from Your Experience
This is the final step of the process which is to learn from your experience. You might, therefore, choose to return home after your shopping expedition at your local supermarket and sit down with a pencil o grab a note pad and write out your thoughts, the feelings, and all observations.
In the end, the most important thing for you is to learn the lessons from that experience you had today, and then to bring the lessons forward straight into your tomorrows. That is the only way you will always learn and grow in making desired progress to overcome shyness.