Here is how to Fart in the Public and Retain your image.

(WARNING! Do not do this in the board meeting, you can get sacked if you are caught).

To Fart in public is interesting but if you are caught, it can be embarrassing. So just follow these guidelines and you are on your way to being a star in this profession.

1. When you enter a hall, check the wind direction, if it is a closed one with Air Condition, better! Maximum impact.

2. Make sure you face the wind direction

3. Make sure you have enough leg space where you are sitting. You will soon know why.

4. Form Ajebor by crossing your legs every now and then

5. You are ready to carry out the operation, try holding it till the time the hall is noisy in case your fart is the type that sounds like AK47.

6. Now carefully cross your leg again, right over left or otherwise. Whichever is convenient to you.

7. Elevate the right butt.

8. Release small (Sound check)

9. If there is no sound, allow the fart to flow steady

10. Allow time for proper circulation of just released fart.

NOTE:

1. Make sure you are not the first person to complain or abscond.

2. When people start to shout “Chai!! E no go better for the person wey do this kind thing, “simply contribute by asking “why the person won’t respect the presence of others? Haba!

3. Do not complain more than others or you’ll become the prime suspect.

4. Quietly leave the area and relocate to another zone, then repeat the prior steps!

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