Do you have a controlling husband who is driving you crazy in every aspect of your life? If you are dealing with a power-hungry guy there are a number of reasons why he might be acting like a spoiled bully and the following information should be helpful to you.
There are varying degrees of the controlling husband and to illustrate some of their tendencies we’ve described them as follows;
Slightly Controlling Husband – He is the husband who likes to make sure he is in charge of certain things in your marriage. For example, he might insist that he manage the finances and deal with matters related to family security. He was probably taught growing up that there are certain responsibilities that he needs to fulfill as a husband and a father so in his mind, it’s normal to take ownership of these things. There is some room for debate but not as much as his wife would like.
Moderately Controlling Husband – This is the husband who has come to believe that he has final say so over most matters in the home and marriage. He may from time to time go along with his wife’s wishes but it’s only out of the kindness of his heart or in his mind he is doing his wife a favor. He has a tendency to have a closed mind and is not willing to compromise very often. In his mind he is not a controlling husband but he is just being the king of his castle.
Extremely Controlling Husband – Another term for this guy would be a control freak. This kind of husband is a smothering and hard to live with individual. He has the desire to make decisions on everything from the clothes his wife wears, who she can hang out with and who can call the house or come over for a visit. He finds a need to approve the meals cooked, the amount of make-up worn and anything else that he has a desire to control.
Now, we have no idea what type of controlling husband you might have or might be. We do know that it can be at the very least unhealthy for your marriage. We can’t speak for all wives but we would bet that not one of them wants to be controlled. Sure, wives just like husbands want to be loved and cared for and feel secure. There is a difference between security and control.
Possible Reasons For Your Husband’s Behavior
• He is an idiot (just kidding)
• He is following in the footsteps of his mentor (his father)
• Your husband is insecure and afraid if he loses control he loses you and the lifestyle he is enjoying
• He has no reason to change
Suggestions For Dealing With A Controlling Husband
• Seek outside help if your safety is at all at risk because of your husband’s behavior. I realize this is a serious decision and a difficult one but if you or your children are in danger please think about getting intervention help. It could come in the form of counseling or close family or friends.
• For non-threatening situations I would suggest you slowly begin to push for changes in the dynamics of your relationship. Your husband needs to learn that you are not his child but his partner and you didn’t sign-up to be his puppet.
• Make subtle changes and don’t try to reverse what’s been going on for years over night. Changing your husband’s behavior might take a little time so be patient and begin pushing and redirecting him until he understands that things can’t continue in the manner they have been.
If you are not happy living with your controlling husband it’s time to make a change. Notice that we are not suggesting that you change your husband. What we are saying is that when you change, your husband will understand that he has to stop his controlling ways, if he wants to continue to be married to you.