Sometimes the stereotype that many of us were brought up on as regards Abuse is sometimes accurate but not always. A woman in an abusive relationship does not always have a black eye or have various bruises, scars, and burns covering her body.
Sometimes, it is hard to identify the signs of violence in a relationship and part of the reason is that it’s actually invisible. In fact, it often masquerades as love.
Here are seven of the most subtle signs of emotional abuse, ones we often dismiss because, at first glance, they seem a lot like ‘love’…
READ ALSO: Things you go through when you love a guy who just likes you
- Moving unusually fast: Love, at first sight, is supposed to be ideal, isn’t it? It’s the thing we’re all after. But this is also how abusive relationships often start out. He’s instantly smitten with you and before you know it, it’s like you’ve known each other forever, even though it’s only been a couple of weeks. Of course, not every relationship that starts out this way will turn out to be abusive, but if things are moving this fast, there’s a reason to be wary.
- Wanting to know everything about you: It feels amazing to be seen, and heard, and known, and loved for who we really are and there’s no better feeling in the world but an abuser also infiltrates your life that same way. He wants to hear all your stories and because you can say anything to him and nothing scares him off, you grow to trust him deeply and feel close to him quickly. But watch out and be careful. There’s nothing wrong with taking your time and even leaving a few things out.
- Texting and Calling you constantly: If you’ve ever been in a relationship with someone who didn’t return your texts in a timely fashion, or sometimes didn’t return them at all then being in a relationship with someone who is always in touch can feel wonderful until it starts to feel creepy and suffocating. If a guy always needs to know your movements, it’s a red flag and you should be wary.
- Wanting to be with you all the time: An abusive guy will never be able to get enough of you including refusing to respect your boundaries. In a healthy relationship, both partners are sometimes on their own and are totally okay with that. You should not lose your identity to your relationship and you should definitely not get sucked into a potentially violent, emotionally abusive one.
- Telling you no one will ever love you as much as he: While this might sound romantic at first but it’s actually a really messed up thing to say and it’s a trademark of an abuser. He’s setting you up to believe you’ll never find anyone better than him which will then kill your self-esteem and you’ll be too beaten down emotionally to leave.
- Keeping track of your movement: This goes right along with texting you all the time and not wanting to be apart, ever, but with a twist: an abuser will want to know exactly where you are all the time when you’re not with him. He’ll do this under the pretence that he’s just looking out for you, worrying about you and wanting to make sure you’re safe — and he’ll make it convincing, too.
- Always being sorry: When you get fed up with any of the above moves, things are apt to quickly blow up into a fight. But an abusive partner will never want to break things off as he will always be willing to give you “another chance”, or to beg you to give him another chance.
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