Not all attachments are made to last and the overwhelming majority of people and things that we grow attached to over the course of our lives will end up leaving or abandoning us at some point. It’s normal to mourn the loss and brokenness of these connections.
Naturally, when you grow attached to something, it can be very difficult to detach yourself from it.
However, most people are able to go through the phase of detachment that is often referred to as closure but closure isn’t necessarily something that is easy to achieve. This is true whenever you find yourself deeply connected and attached to someone. A lot of the time, because of the depth and period of the connection that you have with someone, the harder it will be for you to find closure once you have to break that connection off.
Not reaching or making efforts to reach closure with someone you have gone on separate paths with is putting yourself at risk of having that lack affect your life in negative ways:
- It may affect your sense of self-esteem.
- You might feel angry and bitter with everyone you meet.
- It can affect your other relationships that are just platonic.
- You will become more solitary.
- You will become more selfish in any future relationships.
- You will develop a strong commitment and trust issues.
So here are 5 ways to find closure
1. Confront your feelings and emotions: Don’t keep or hold it all in, let your feelings come out into the open and confront them.
2. Give yourself some space: Your immediate instinct to hurting might be to reach out to the person who is causing you pain but that would not help in finding closure. Give yourself some space first.
3. Put your feelings and thoughts into writing: Writing is therapeutic, trust me, I know. It can be to just write about your thoughts and feelings. To not think about sending it to anyone, just spill.
4. Don’t dwell too much on it: Once you’ve confronted your feelings and emotions, it’s important for you to touch or dwell on it too much. That would be unhealthy. Distract yourself by pursuing all the things that give you joy.
5. Maintain a healthy perspective on the whole: It might feel really devastating to have to disconnect yourself from someone but in the grand scheme of things, there are still plenty of other things going on for you.
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