In a world that prefers illusions over the truth, it’s very rare to see people or partners mentioning any red flags which indicate serious relationship problems.
Most relationships refuse to discuss sour points, they refuse to have conversations when they argue. Such an attitude is wrong. It could lead to serious consequences that may involve being stuck in an unfulfilling, abusive relationship.
Below is a list of five red flags which might tell you at an early stage that your relationship is a beaten-up/dead-end one.
- Cannot communicate with your partner about problems.One major red flag in a person’s behavior that may indicate that the relationship won’t work is the unwillingness to talk through issues whether big or small. All couples have disagreements which is perfectly normal and healthy. How you handle those disagreements can either make or break things. Take caution if your partner walks away, Shut down, Place all the blame on you, Throw a tantrum. These are all red flags worthy of note.
The problems in itself hardly ever wreck the relationship. What actually can is whether or not you talk about them and try to solve them. In a good relationship, a couple can, will and should talk through issues, listening to the other person’s point of view and expressing his or her own. There is no winner or loser, It’s about expressing how something makes one party feel and be heard. Communication is key.
- They don’t respect your boundaries.This is a tricky one. Very often those who abuse emotionally try to justify their actions with the differences in your character and theirs. But this is just an excuse. If anyone begins disrespecting your boundaries and abusing you, you’d better leave them:
This kind of person is not ready to meet your family members or friends, but they push you. He or she tries to change the way you wear your clothes or anything else about and it makes you uncomfortable. Watch out for these kinds of people.
- Very critical of their previous partners.Whatever it is, he or she has done in previous relationships they are likely to do again. That means that if you pay attention to how your partner speaks about their exes, you can learn a lot about how this person is likely to treat you. When people describe all of their exes as terrible people and put all the blame on them for the relationship’s failure, what it translates to is – They cannot take any responsibility for whatever went wrong. I have not learned anything from these relationships. It is totally up to you to make our relationship work. The perspective of a relationship with such a person is not promising.
- You try to justify what he or she does or saysAccording to Perpetua Neo, a Psychologist, “There is a psychological phenomenon known as the ‘confirmation bias,’ where we are inclined to discard all evidence that does not align with our views and only keep those that do. And with a potentially toxic person, they have worked to create a false positive impression to worm their way into your heart.” she explains.
“So even if they do something bad or say something that’s off, you may think, ‘He or She is only this way because he or she went through X.’ This is when ticking boxes of ‘Is she rude to the waiter?’ ‘Is he nice to his family members?’ He or She could be all that — the sleekest toxic people are. he has a mean mouth towards some people, and if you find yourself justifying his transactional mindset or meanness, then it’s time to pause and step back.”
- Your partner shows narcissistic personality traits.Narcissists are usually void of empathy. They don’t believe they are wrong about anything, and they will constantly feel victimized, accusing you of attacking them when you’re just expressing your feelings in a situation. One major red flag in relationships with this kind of person is when everyday life, events, conversations, and basic interactions are frequently about that person.
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