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5 Common Couples Feuds and How They Can Be Resolved

Wondering why you have that recurring argument with your partner and how to resolve it, you should read this.

5 Common Couples Feuds and How They Can Be Resolved

We all do it. The fussing, bickering and squabbling which we usually do it with the people we supposedly love the most. These fights don’t get physically violent, but they still hurt tremendously. You are left feeling like your relationship is stuck and stagnant. There are common squabbles with recurring themes underneath the fighting.

READ ALSO: How to End a Fight With Your Partner

  1. The Who’s-Working-Harder-In-This-Relationship Fight: Sometimes, there is an absence of gratitude for what one partner does, and most times, the affirmation that you’re appreciated is missing. There is a lack of recognition for what each of you contributes, and cooperation is missing when one of you gets overwhelmed. This is true for chores that are repetitive and seem like they never end such as weeding, cooking, or doing laundry.

  2. The Trust Fight: Sometimes what the fight is really about is not the immediate issue at hand. It might just be about Trust. In these fights, effort needs to be made in moving beyond hurt feelings or past grievances so that trust can be rebuilt in your relationship. This may mean addressing your own prior actions and expressing remorse to those you’ve hurt, whether intentionally or not. 

  3. The If-You’d-Just-Be-More-Like-Me Fight: Contempt is the number one communication quality that kills a relationship. You should honour the differences between you, and acknowledge each other’s strengths even when you fight. It is vital. You should recognize and bring something special and important to the relationship which can help each of you grow as individuals.

  4. The You’re-Wrong-And-I’m-Right Fight: Several things can be underneath a desire to always be right. It could be a need to feel superior, which really is to attempt to hide insecurity. It is possible that there is anger about other things that are not being discussed but are in the background causing resentment that needs an outlet. This particular fight is lonely to win and even lonelier to lose

  5. The It-Sounds-Like-I Am-Talking-About-Me-But-I’m-Really-Blaming-You Fight: Blame is easy when you fight. Talking or having a conversation is much, much more vulnerable and thus, much more difficult. You have to talk about those things when you are not angry even though you risk being vulnerable when you express how you truly feel. It can be fun to do an exercise of some sort with your partner and swap perspectives. For example, you argue your partner’s viewpoint while they argue yours. This way you both will hear what you sound like when you argue and it will help to gain a deeper understanding of where both of you are truly coming from.


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